yeah...

I was chatting with Milan one day, and the subject of me and Jason always clowning on each other. I thought it was funny (at least picturing it in my mind) what all this bickering might culminate into.

Jason and I always clown on each other and it's good fun.
Then it will turn into a feud between our two families.
Eventually it will be two factions warring and will turn into a World War that will destroy earth.

Last Christmas...

My song of the moment (by BoA of course). I feel like it talks to me.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away.
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special.

I actually feel like I identify with it. A lot of the lyrics chronicle how I've felt over the past year.

My gosh I thought you were someone to rely on?
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

Yeah...

World War 3

Basically it's what I feel my life is going through. I'm dealing with my own World War III. Once the war is over, if there is anything left, it will be much more simpler and consolidated.

That said, I haven't felt more in control of things until yesterday. It feels that one missing piece for me was arguing. In previous relationships, I tried to get all the arguments over in the beginning. I guess it's what kept things interesting. I dunno, I guess we'll see...

Smile Again

My song of the moment. According to iTunes, I've listened to it 223 Times. A little less than 100 of those times within the past week. It actually hurts knowing I have to resort to listening to this song to make me feel better. It's like my last resort. Basically, the song trying to uplift yourself because you're so down. For me, it means that nothing else has worked, and no one else can help. Apparently BoA wrote it during a hard/sad time in her life last year.

I can't believe it's come to this...

I've completely lost hope. Even the songs that once gave me hope have no effect on me. Things seemed to really be picking up the last few weeks, and they were all crushed in one night. It really sucks having all hope sucked out of you. I really thought I saw a light at the end of the tunnel, and things would get better towards the end of the year. Funny thing is I thought w/ the election of Obama, not only would the country change for the better, but my life as well. I was wrong. I really don't know how things will get better. It's an odd feeling having no hope.